another 25 more days to BKK trip with dear Eunice!!! Yeah!! (:

cant wait to fly there.

been cooping up at home for so long.

i feel like a rotten apple soon. haha.

but starting work tomorrow.

im more then excited to start my new job. (:

good luck and work hard J.bibi ~

sometimes.. i do wonder about how to go about and compare.

and finally i found a fruit which i can compare to.

at first, you're a fresh pinky red juicy apple.

the ones that everyone feel tempted to eat you up.

when times slowly goes by,

you turned into a soon rotten apple which lack of fresh color and no longer juicy.

which is being thrown away to aside and died of loneliness.

somehow i felt its a thought comparing my r/s to this apple.

i felt that im being thrown aside.

dont kissed as much, dont held hands even when we're out.

dont even mention making out.

i somehow felt like a rotten apple which is bored of looking at.

and someday i'll just die of loneliness. LOL (just joking abt this)

i only felt a one year r/s can brings out a totally not fresh lives of us.

and im beginning to start thinking..

its only the first year for god sake.

how are we going to go through to the next many years thats coming by?

i dont even wanna think abt "our" marriage anymore, let alone talk abt it.

somehow.. its just not right at all. or maybe i say i dont feel right afterall.

has the feelings tone down? or has the freshness of the r/s being washed down the drain?

i've tried so hard to come to this stage.

and all i've got is this outcome when i've finally reached this stage.

i do really wonder is it worth coming this far?

what am i trying so hard for?

i do think when i've finally felt the coldness there.

i thought i could do something different to make the attention turned to me.

but it just seems like.. i have to entertain myself for all the while?

i no longer understand how it works or how it should goes like.

it just felt so tasteless already.

thinking of all this makes me headache ah.

got to go collect my work bottoms from the tailor later.

and maybe meeting feng out for a talk.

im already suffocating.